### Chapter 9 The echoes of Gage's words lingered in my mind throughout the day. Our conversations were sparse, but a newfound lightness hung in the air, dissolving the awkward tension that had enveloped us for so long. Just when I thought the day might stretch on endlessly, my phone rang, jolting me back to reality. The name on the screen sent a burst of excitement through me—it was Francesca, the woman handling my rental application. “Oh my god,” I gasped, hastily swiping to answer as I felt Gage’s gaze keenly focused on me. “Hi, this is Farrah!” “Farrah, it's Francesca. I saw your application for the house on Pine Street and loved the note you included. Are you free to tour the place this evening?” “Absolutely!” I exclaimed, my body breaking into an ecstatic little dance in my chair. A glimmer of amusement flickered across Gage's face, and I couldn’t help but beam back at him. “How does half past six sound?” she asked, her voice warm and inviting. “Sounds perfect! See you then!” I responded, my excitement bubbling over. As I hung up, Gage chuckled. “I didn’t know your voice could reach that pitch.” With a dramatic roll of my eyes, I stood up to grab my purse. “I’m going to call Shantel so we can add something about eavesdropping to the company handbook,” I retorted playfully. He waved me off with a casual grin. “Good luck. Just remember she reports to a hard-ass.” “I don’t think he’s that bad,” I replied, flashing him a smile as I stepped out of the hotel, practically floating on a cloud of anticipation. The evening unfolded like a whirlwind. I picked up Levi from baseball practice, then gathered the younger kids from my parents’ house. We were on our way to tour the rental that I sincerely hoped could be our new home. My stomach knotted with excitement and nerves, a dizzying blend created by Gage's earlier compliment and the prospect of this house. “Mom,” Cora piped up from the backseat, “is this house close to a park?” “Absolutely! There’s a park just a couple of blocks away. We could walk there, or you could ride your scooter.” “Could I walk backwards?” Andrew chimed in, grinning ear to ear. “Sure, if you want to walk backwards into traffic,” Levi scoffed from the front, shooting his younger brother an exasperated look. I reached back, giving Levi a gentle pinch on the arm for his teasing. “You boys need to cut it out,” I said, my tone half-serious, half-amused. Levi shrugged off my touch with a smirk. “I’m fine as long as I get the big room.” “It has four bedrooms,” I reminded him. While I thought three would suffice, the idea of each of my kids having their own space in our new home sounded wonderful, especially since I was finally in a position to make that happen. This house was located closer to my parents, in one of the more affordable suburbs of Dallas, and even though it would mean a longer commute for me, it was well within my budget. “How far is it from school?” Andrew asked, his curiosity piqued. “Fifteen minutes,” I replied, trying to keep the excitement in my voice. “But there’s a bus stop on the corner so you can ride the bus.” He blinked, his face lighting up. “Yes!” he shouted, his enthusiasm infectious. The thought of a bus ride was probably thrilling for him, given he’d never been on one before. In Austin, they had attended a private school, meaning I had done all the drop-offs and pick-ups myself. With the distance to their new school, living near my parents would make the mornings much easier. As we drove closer, I surveyed the neighborhood with hopeful eyes. The houses looked older than those in my parents' area, with more space between them. Although there were no sidewalks, the roads were wide and quiet, offering a pleasant atmosphere that emanated a sense of community. A warmth blossomed in my chest as I envisioned this neighborhood becoming our home, a sanctuary I would build with my children. From the backseat, Andrew’s voice broke through my thoughts. “One minute left!” “Cora bounced her legs in excitement. “One minute!” “Yippee,” Levi muttered, only half-heartedly enthusiastic. Feeling the weight of expectation in the air, I knew I had to set a positive tone before this tour took an unexpected turn. I pulled over to the side of the road, despite being moments away from our destination, and extended my hand to Levi. He was becoming a big kid, tall like his father, and his hand easily dwarfed mine. By some miracle, he looked back at me instead of shrugging me off. “Levi, I know this move is tough without your dad. It’s hard for me too,” I said, my voice steady but filled with emotion. “Can you please keep an open mind?” “Yeah,” Andrew piped up from the backseat. “Give it a chance!” I shot a warning glance over my shoulder at him before returning my gaze to Levi. He looked down for a moment, then nodded slightly. “Thank you,” I said, squeezing his hand reassuringly before letting go. We drove the final stretch towards the house, where a “For Rent” sign stood proudly in the front yard, and I gasped at the sight before me. The home was adorned with light brick and a cheerful yellow front door that made the entire house seem to be smiling at us. The landscape needed some attention, but it was all manageable, all a part of creating our new life. We climbed out of the van, hardly able to contain our excitement. Just then, another car pulled up, and I spotted an older woman getting out. “Hi, I’m Farrah. You must be Francesca?” “Yes!” she replied warmly, her face lighting up as she addressed me and my kids. “We talked on the phone earlier. I can’t wait for you to see this place.” “Me neither,” I said, surveying the exterior with wonder. I could already envision how splendid it would look with a lush, freshly mown lawn. “It looks lovely.” “Oh, it truly is,” Francesca assured, guiding us towards the front door. Cora gleefully balanced along the landscape stones, while Andrew and Levi trailed behind. “Why don’t you all take a look around? I’ll wait out here,” she suggested as she opened the door. “Sounds great!” I replied, feeling a rush of anticipation. The younger kids dashed inside, and Andrew’s voice echoed back to me. “This is nice, Mom!” Unable to verbalize my awe, I nodded, trailing behind them. The moment I stepped inside, I was mesmerized. The front room boasted dark vinyl flooring and a grand fireplace beneath soaring ceilings that seemed to stretch to the sky. As we moved further in, a spacious dining room opened up, leading to a kitchen adorned with pristine granite countertops and elegant natural wood cabinets. Part of me expected Francesca to pop out and declare that it was all a prank—the place was infinitely better than the photos I’d seen online, and somehow, it was within my budget. After my split with Caleb, I’d resigned myself to a significant lifestyle downgrade, yet this house felt like anything but a step backward. Here before me was a residence I could genuinely call home—one I could take pride in. While not as new as the home we’d built in Austin and lacking the meticulous furnishings, I could easily imagine a cozy couch where we’d gather for movie nights and a dining table set for family dinners. My thoughts drifted to decorating each of the rooms to fit my children’s personalities. It was a blank canvas, a space to nurture and grow. “Mom, this is my room!” Cora squealed suddenly from somewhere deep within the house. “Hey! I wanted that one!” Andrew shot back. Their banter floated through the air, making me chuckle. “That's my walk-in closet!” I called, turning to find them cozily settled in opposite corners of the closet. Andrew snuggled against the tan carpet, a grin on his face. “It’s so cozy!” I leaned against the doorframe of the main bedroom, which was spacious enough for a king-sized bed, offering a haven where Andrew and Cora could curl up beside me whenever nightmares stirred them awake—without the risk of me waking up covered in kicks. The thought of having my own bathroom, separate from the kids’, was a delightful dream I had almost forgotten. They could share the bathroom in the hallway, with double vanities to alleviate morning traffic jams. “Would this be mine?” Levi called from what I assumed to be the second-largest room, his expression thoughtful as he looked out onto the treed backyard. “What do you think?” I asked, stepping into the doorframe beside him. His lips curled slightly, a smile breaking through. “It’ll be peaceful. No more Drew snoring all night.” “I HEARD THAT!” Andrew shouted back, laughter bubbling in the air. Once we’d finished exploring every nook and cranny, I rounded up the kids to the van and approached Francesca, who stood casually against the hood of her car. “What did you think?” she asked, her smile genuine. “It was amazing! What do I have to do to move in? Can I give you one of the kids?” I joked, hoping to lighten the mood. She laughed heartily, her head thrown back in delight. “No kids required! Just a deposit along with the first and last month’s rent.” My heart sank as I calculated the numbers in my head; it would wipe out all my available funds after payday. “Is there any chance we could start the lease at the end of the month?” I asked, desperation creeping into my voice. Francesca’s smile faltered slightly. “I’m sorry, but there's a lot of interest in this place. In fact…” She glanced at her oversized smartwatch. “There’s another couple coming to look in an hour.” “What would it take to make it ours?” I pressed, panic beginning to bubble within me at the thought of losing this home that felt destined for us. She raised two fingers, crinkled but resolute. “A signed lease and a check for the deposit along with first and last month’s rent. As soon as the check clears, you get the keys.” The weight of the moment loomed over me. Spending every last dollar I had to move into a house I couldn’t fully furnish felt like a leap of faith, but I couldn’t remain with my parents forever. Our belongings were already crowding them, and despite their warmth, living under their roof constantly reminded me of my past failures. I held up my finger, calling for a moment's grace. “One second,” I told her, making my way back to the van. Inside, I found Levi spinning the latest rap song on his phone, the lyrics a blur of speed and excitement. “Pause it,” I instructed above the beat, and the sudden silence enveloped us. “Guys, I need your honest opinions about this house. Is it ‘the one’? If it's not perfect, we can keep looking.” Levi regarded me before turning to his siblings. Cora bounced in her seat, eyes bright. “I love it, Mom!” “Me too!” exclaimed Andrew enthusiastically. Then came Levi’s hesitant assessment. He twisted his lips to the side and finally relented, “It’s not getting any better than this, Mom.” I knew he was right, and with resolute determination, I scribbled a check to Francesca, pleading with her not to cash it until the next day. With an understanding smile, she agreed. * * * When we returned home, the kids burst with energy, eager to recount every detail of our tour to my parents. Dad wrapped me in an embrace, his pride palpable. “I’m proud of you, kid,” he said, his words warming my heart. However, a shadow flickered across my mom’s face, a subtle hint that suggested all wasn’t entirely well. Her smile remained gently affixed, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, and I sensed something unsaid lingered beneath the surface. Once the kids were seated in front of a movie with Dad, I quietly joined her in the kitchen, where the dishes awaited. Despite their newer model dishwasher, she opted to hand wash, placing each one in the machine as a drying rack, convinced her meticulous methods surpassed anything a machine could provide. I stood by, rinsing the plates she scrubbed, an unspoken bond hanging in the air as we worked side by side. After a few moments, I found the courage to address the elephant in the room. “Is everything okay? You seemed a bit upset earlier when we told you about the rental.” She rubbed her lips together thoughtfully, the remnants of the day’s lipstick fading. “I’m not upset, just surprised,” she said, her gaze flicking to mine before returning to her task. “I didn't expect you to find a new place so quickly.” My brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? We’ve been here almost two months already.” “Well…” She set the dish down, drying her hands and resting her hip against the counter, arms crossed. “It’s been nice having you here.” I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “You have to be joking. I would have been annoying even for myself six weeks ago.” A light chuckle escaped her. “When you lived in Austin, it felt like we hardly got to see you between all the kids’ activities and Dad running the shop on Saturdays. This is the first time in ages that I feel like I’ve really gotten to know them,” she confessed, wiping away a stray tear. A lump formed in my throat, the bond we shared intensifying. “We’ll only be fifteen minutes away,” I reassured her, reaching for her hand. “And trust me, I plan to utilize all that free babysitting.” She grinned. “I’m going to hold you to that.” “I hope you will! Especially since Caleb hasn’t been around lately, and the more love my kids have, the better.” Mom nodded, encircling me in a tight embrace, her love enveloping me like a warm blanket. “Have I mentioned that I’m proud of you?” A shaky breath escaped me, as if my heart had been holding onto too many emotions. “No, but that means everything.” I stepped back and swiped at my eyes, glancing toward the living room where my kids were glued to their movie, completely at ease. “Sometimes I feel like all I do is fail them. But I couldn’t stay with Caleb.” She reached up, gently wiping away the tears with her thumbs, her voice soft and steady. “We’ve all made mistakes as parents, but there’s one thing you can’t mess up. Your kids need you to be there for them. You’ve been their rock every day—they need that from you. You’re an amazing mom, Farrah.” I held her close, absorbing her love and strength. “Only because I learned from the best.”