### Chapter 36: His Remedy **Present Day** “I’ve caused them so much pain,” I whisper, my voice trembling as tears gather at the corners of my eyes. “I destroyed their love.” With every word, a weight presses down on my chest, a reminder of the past I can never escape. Journeying through those memories feels like walking through a minefield, each step threatening to detonate painful reminders of my naivety. I had been so foolish, believing I could make Rowan Woods love me after the chaos I unleashed upon his life. Here I am, nine years later, still trapped in the consequences of that reckless obsession. “It wasn’t your fault,” Ethan says softly, his fingers intertwining with mine, providing a distraction from the storm of emotion brewing inside me. “No, it was,” I reply, the tears spilling over now. “I allowed my obsession to overshadow everything, and I made the worst mistake of my life.” The thought is suffocating, a reminder of how deeply I had erred. If only I could turn back time. If only I could rewrite the past. Regret has been my lifelong companion, whispering in my ear, reminding me of the moments I ignored that nagging sense of caution. I should have paid attention to it. It would have spared me countless nights of anguish. God, I wish I had recognized sooner that I was pregnant. I could have escaped before it all spiraled out of control. I could have hidden away, concealing the truth from Rowan—that I was carrying his child. No one would have ever known. It sounds cruel, I realize, but now it feels like a necessary evil; it could have spared Noah from witnessing the endless battles between Rowan and me. I could have vanished into an unknown place, far removed from my family and Rowan, a sanctuary where no one would think to find me. The thought of leading a quiet life away from their probing scrutiny was comforting, a fleeting dream I held onto like a lifeline. “Ava?” Ethan’s voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts. “What?” I murmur, shaking myself free from the reverie. “I said it wasn’t your fault. You were drunk. If they blame anyone, they should also blame him.” He offers me a soothing smile infused with sincerity. I stare at him, wide-eyed in disbelief. “You really believe me?” I query, astonished. No one has ever shown me such understanding; instead, they branded me as malicious, accusing me of taking advantage of an innocent man. “Of course I do. Don’t you see that you’re also a victim in this?” His blue eyes are intense, piercing through the walls I’ve built around my pain. A heavy sigh escapes my lips. “I’ve grown weary of hearing that I’m to blame. Sometimes, I find myself second-guessing my own memory. The constant reminder from everyone around me has cemented the idea that I took advantage of his state, and often I find it hard to trust my own recollections.” It fills me with a dull sadness that, on occasion, I find myself questioning the accuracy of my memories. If so many believe I’m guilty, doesn’t that make it true? There are moments when I think my suffering was a form of punishment, as if some divine force sought to make me pay for yearning for and being with a man who didn’t belong to me. Truly, it’s what countless others have told me—that this pain is my deserved consequence. You adapt to the words of the people around you when they relentlessly enforce their narratives upon you. That’s how I started to believe their judgments. I began internalizing the idea that it was all my fault. A sharp ache pierces my heart as I replay the torment they’ve all inflicted upon me—Rowan especially. It’s a bitter truth that the one you love can shatter your spirit, leaving you to wonder if there’s any goodness left in the world. Yet, from that shattered past, one precious light emerged: Noah. I would never regret bringing him into this world. He became my beacon of hope during the darkest times, an anchor when I contemplated giving it all up. After his birth, when the pain seemed unbearable and the hatred relentless, those desperate thoughts lingered. I knew Rowan would care for him; the moment Noah was placed in his arms, I sensed that undeniable love radiate between them. It was Noah who pulled me from the brink. I realized that leaving would mean abandoning him to a life filled with my own regrets. I wouldn’t allow him to see me as weak. Emma would take my place as his stepmother, and I feared she would taint him with her bitterness towards me. Now, glancing back at the cruel words she spat in my direction, I’m grateful I chose resilience. I refused to let her poison his perception of me. “You’re not to blame. Never. You were both drunk, which means neither of you is at fault. Your parents should be ashamed for placing such an immense burden on an eighteen-year-old girl. Rowan should have owned up to his responsibilities instead of letting all the blame fall on you. He was twenty!” “But I was the one who sought him out,” I argue, a flicker of guilt creeping back. His response is a dismissive scoff. “That’s irrelevant. He was the one who provided you with alcohol when he knew you weren’t of legal age. The more I learn about Rowan and your family, the more I despise them.” His words stir memories within me. I can feel my own resentment towards them growing, a realization that has been simmering under the surface. “Come on,” Ethan urges, gently helping me to my feet, pulling me from the depth of my anguish. “Where are we going?” I ask, my heart lingering in the painful remembrance. “I’m taking you home. I don’t want to see you drowning your sorrows anymore,” he replies firmly. Before I could protest, he leads me across the pulsating dance floor, and we exit the bar. The chill in the air bites against my skin, but Ethan quickly removes his leather jacket and wraps it around me. Once in his car, he drives in silence, the tension of the night dissipating between us. It's not uncomfortable; instead, it's a shared understanding, a moment of quiet companionship amid the chaos of my thoughts. As we reach my driveway, Ethan turns off the engine and, like the gentleman he is, opens my door and assists me down. “I’m not ready for the night to end,” I confess, pulling out my keys. “I still need a drink or two to forget my pain.” “Are you planning to keep drinking just to numb your feelings?” he asks, concern lacing his tone. I nod, reaffirming my desire for short-lived relief, even if only for a few hours. Ethan watches me with something profound in his eyes, a shift that signifies a decision made in resolve. “If that’s the case, then I have a better remedy,” he murmurs, his voice lower, richer, and more inviting. With that, he crosses the threshold of my home, closing the door behind him. And in a moment that feels both electric and inevitable, he seals my lips with his own, showing me how much more effective his remedy can be. In that fervent kiss, I rid myself of some of the burdens I’ve carried for far too long, unlocking a new chapter in this tumultuous story of my life.