**Chapter 59: A Surprise** A month has slipped away since everything unraveled with Ethan. Am I okay? Absolutely not. Does the pain still claw at my insides? Hell yes. Have I moved on? Not even close. These days have felt like an unyielding tide, dragging me deeper into an ocean of despair. I once believed I was making progress, that moving on with Ethan would somehow ease the burden on my heart. In hindsight, I realize I was merely shrouded in my own delusions. Ethan’s betrayal has unearthed shadows I thought I had buried long ago—scars from past wounds, revisiting me like bitter ghosts. It’s as if I’ve been thrust back to the starting line, only now I carry a weight of new scars that mar the very fabric of my being. The days blur into a haze as I float through them in a numbed stupor. Time has become an indifferent adversary, passing me by as I merely exist rather than truly live. Survival has become my only goal; I claw through each day, grappling with the crushing reality that surrounds me. Everyone else seems to have moved on with their lives while I remain ensnared in a web of sorrow and heartbreak. My existence is painted in shades of gray, an endless cycle of solitude that feels both heavy and suffocating. “Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students, interrupts my thoughts. Ugh, that name. It’s a constant reminder of those who shattered me. I toy with the idea of changing it, yet I hesitate. The Howell family name feels foreign, and I haven’t had the courage to reach out to them since that fateful day at my home. “Yes, I am… just focus on your classwork,” I manage to reply, my gaze dropping to the books strewn across my desk. Teaching used to ignite a fire in my soul, but now it feels more like an obligation. Each day in the classroom becomes a countdown until I can seek solace in the quiet of my own space. Letty and Rowan’s perpetual concern only adds to my distress. I crave solitude, yet it eludes me as they keep checking in, each inquiry a reminder of my struggle. My students have sensed the shift; the mirth that once infused my classes has dimmed. Laughter is a rare visitor, and my own cheerfulness has dissipated—leaving behind a shell, a hollow version of myself. Some students have even started skipping my class. I grapple with the question of how to resurrect the spirited Ava they used to know. ‘Instead of seeking the old version of you, perhaps it's time to forge something new?’ a voice in my head questions. Can I really create a new version of myself? A being who isn’t defined by her past, a version freed from the chains of brokenness she has carried for far too long. Lost in thought, the shrill of the bell yanks me back to reality. Gathering my belongings, I burst from the classroom, silent and hurried, avoiding eye contact with my students. I keep my head lowered, rushing to the teacher’s lounge, desperate for a moment of calm before my next class. Thankfully, no one stops me—my mood is too fragile for conversation right now. But upon entering the lounge, I falter. It’s bustling with chatter and laughter, far more crowded than I anticipated. A soft groan escapes my lips as I maneuver toward the farthest corner, seeking a refuge from the overwhelming noise. As I settle into my seat, my phone buzzes. Nora’s name flashes across the screen. I have avoided her calls, uncertain of how to face her, especially given her ties to Ethan. Surging with anxiety, I nearly hang up but find myself pressing the accept button instead. “Ava?” Nora’s voice pierces through the din. I draw in a steadying breath, unable to voice a response. “Please, my dear, don’t shut me out. Don’t shut out me or your father,” she pleads, her tone thick with emotion. Words evade me, trapped behind a wall of silence. I want to respond, to assure her, but my throat feels constricted, rendering me speechless. “You’re my daughter, Ava, and I want to be a part of your life. I want to be the mother I never got to be. I know you’re hurting; I want to be there for you. I lost one child; I can’t bear to lose another. Losing you again, just as we found each other, would destroy me,” she implores, her voice trembling, and I can feel the heartache washing over me like a tidal wave. I blink rapidly as tears brim in my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotionally raw in these weeks. “I need time,” I manage to whisper, fighting to keep the tears at bay. She exhales softly. “I’ll give you the time you need, but remember that I love you. I’ve always held you in my heart, even when I thought you were gone. I hope you can trust me—I’ll always be here for you,” she says, her love palpable over the line. It’s comforting to know I’m wanted, but doubt gnaws at me. Can I trust her? What if this is just a search for someone to fill a void? That fear of being a second choice, just like I was with Rowan, lingers like a specter. I’m not trying to be cold; I’m merely attempting to safeguard the remaining fragments of my heart. “Damn, girl,” Carol’s voice cuts through my musings as she struts toward my table. “Ugh,” I mutter under my breath. Carol, a junior high school teacher, has an irritating knack for poking her nose into my business. Looking at me with mock disbelief, she comments, “All that food! With how you've been eating and your mood lately, one would think you’re pregnant!” Her laughter fills the room. Her words strike me like a lightning bolt, freezing me in my chair. Panic surges through my veins, a visceral fear taking hold. Seeing my abrupt shift in demeanor, Carol frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? Surely you know I was just joking, right?” Before I can respond, anxiety propels me to my feet. I rush out of the lounge, fleeing down the hall until I burst into the open air of the school parking lot. I jump in my car and speed away, heart racing. No, this can’t be happening. Please don’t let it be happening. My mind races as I grapple with the implications of her jest. Had I truly been reckless? I drive as if the world is on fire, heedless of the speed limit—only the truth matters right now. Reaching the store, I park in haste, nearly colliding with Emma as I sprint past her, fear evident on my face. “Ava?” she calls, surprise etched across her features. I don’t answer; I dash to the ladies' section, grabbing a handful of tests before making my way to the counter, urgency propelling me forward. I pay in a blur and rush back to my car, desperation fueling my every move. Home is a blur as I follow the familiar routine. Three glasses of water to clear my mind, and then I retreat to the bathroom, heart pounding in my chest as I prepare to take the test. *** The weight of silence settles heavily as I wait, each heartbeat a reminder of the impending reality. No, this cannot be my fate. I can’t be pregnant, especially not with Ethan’s child. “Why God?” I whisper, tears streaming freely down my cheeks. Waiting for an answer only draws more questions, leaving me in a disorienting sense of limbo. Why this misfortune? Why now? I sink to the bathroom floor, utterly depleted. Is this my lot in life—unplanned pregnancies haunting me like an unwelcome curse? First Noah, and now this? My gaze drifts to the cold tiles beneath my feet, retracing the path that led me here. Ethan and I shared one night of recklessness, unprotected passion. I had intended to take the morning-after pill, but as time passed, I had become lost in the haze of my life’s chaos, and the thought slipped away. I had informed Ethan about my oversight, expecting him to erupt in anger, but instead, he had enfolded me in calm reassurance. Together, we reasoned that the chances of pregnancy were slim. Yet, I’ve noticed changes; my period is late, but I dismissed it as an effect of stress. My increased appetite, a mere byproduct of my emotional state. The loud banging on the door jolts me from my spiraling thoughts, but I cannot bring myself to move. Now more than ever, I yearn for solitude from the world. I bury my face between my knees and block out the sound, wishing for the relentless knocking to cease. Then, as abruptly as it started, quiet descends. Relief washes over me like a blanket, but my heart drops as I hear the door creak open, heavy footsteps padding up the stairs. Before I can even think of hiding from whoever it is, a shadow fills the doorway, dark and looming. “Ava?” It’s Rowan's voice, deep and resonant, cutting through the silence like a knife. The moment our eyes meet, tears spring forth once more. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be him?