Chapter 63: I Love Her Ethan The moment I set my plan into motion, I never imagined I would end up falling for her. It was the cruelest twist of fate, a turn of events I never saw coming. I had thought it would be simple—a calculated move to eliminate her, and then I would finally have everything I ever desired. But as fate would have it, this endeavor turned out to be the most difficult thing I have ever faced. Ava isn’t someone you can just push aside or forget. She’s the kind of woman who captures your heart, igniting a desire to rise above your own flaws and fears. I vividly remember the moment I realized I was falling for her. I tried desperately to avert this path, but it was as futile as trying to evade an oncoming train—inevitable and horrifyingly powerful. When I understood that I had indeed fallen for her, I tried to rectify the chaos I had caused, but the damage was already irreparable. The truth loomed over me, a heavy cloud waiting to rain down on both our lives. Instead of letting her go, I clung to her tightly, knowing my time with her was limited. The pain I caused her will haunt me forever. As her heart shattered, so too did mine piece by piece. I extinguished a future brimming with potential because of my own avarice, and I could hardly bear the thought that she might never forgive me. “Ethan, you have a visitor,” a guard called out, interrupting the whirlwind of my thoughts. I had chosen to avoid seeing my parents each time they dropped by; the shame was suffocating. They took me in, gave me their love, and I repaid them by betraying their trust in the most heinous way—attempting to take their biological daughter’s life. How can they still wish to see me? If I were in their shoes, there’s no way I could be so forgiving. “Ethan…” the guard shouted again, pulling me from my reverie. I turned, meeting his gaze with a hardened expression. For a fleeting moment, I contemplated telling him to convey my desire to remain unseen, but something inexplicable held me back, stifling the words destined for my tongue. I simply nodded. He gestured to my wrists, and I extended my hands, feeling the cold metal clasp around them before he guided me out of my cell. Being the new kid in this place, I was treated with a respect that was unexpected, presumably because I had a reputation as a dangerous man. As I stepped out, my breath caught in my throat. In the far corner, seated with an air of quiet determination, was the last person I ever expected to see—Ava. Slowly, I approached her, still in disbelief that she was really here, drifting like a ghost through the haze of my despair. “Ava?” I croaked, collapsing into the chair opposite her. My heart raced as I took in every detail of her face, acutely aware that this could very well be our final encounter. She was likely here seeking closure, the usual step before moving on. Twisting her hands anxiously, she kept her gaze lowered, as though the weight of looking at me was unbearable. Just seeing her there stirred a tidal wave of loss within me—a stark reminder of everything I would never have. No tender moments shared, no future envisioned together, no memories of watching her blossom into motherhood. It felt as if each beat of my heart echoed the pain of my mistakes. What I had done was unforgivable, and the only woman I ever truly loved was now beyond my reach. “I debated whether I should come… whether you’d even care,” she started hesitantly, her voice small and unsure. Each word sliced through me like a serrated knife. Her uncertainty revealed the depth of my betrayal, how profoundly I had broken her spirit. All the progress she had strived to make was now crumbled into dust because of my treachery. “What is it, Ava?” My voice softened, almost pleading, as I fought the urge to reach out to her. I wanted to pull her into my arms, to feel the warmth of her skin, but the memory of what I had done held me captive. Drawing a deep breath, she managed, “I-I…” The sentence faltered, and worry clawed at my insides. What could it be? Why was she struggling to voice her thoughts? “Ava…” “I’m pregnant,” she whispered, her eyes trained firmly on the table. Time froze as those words echoed in my mind. A wave of disbelief flooded over me—she couldn’t be serious. “What?” I breathed, my heart racing as confusion morphed into shock. “I’m pregnant,” she reiterated, her voice steadier this time. “I found out a week ago. I’m about three months along.” The reality hit me like a freight train. Ava and I had created life together—a beautiful, precious life. I recalled how her body felt against mine, the ecstasy of our intimate moments together. And just as quickly, a dread settled like a stone in my gut. “You’re… here to tell me you don’t want the baby and plan to get an abortion, right?” The words tumbled out, each syllable locking every joint in my body tighter. She looked up sharply, rage igniting in her brown eyes—the fierce fire that had drawn me to her before. In that moment, I glimpsed the fierce woman who had started to emerge before I shattered her. “Why would you think that?” she retorted, her voice rising. “When I first found out, my mind was a mess, and I thought it might be best if the baby wasn’t born. But once I collected myself, reality struck.” A breath of relief washed over me. I could hardly fathom what I would have done had she chosen otherwise. “I need to know how you feel about it. I understand you might not care about me, but the baby…” Her words trailed off, a mix of hope and uncertainty hanging in the air. As I took a moment to contemplate, the truth weighed heavy on my chest. “No,” I finally admitted, my heart aching at the admission. “It’s for the best. The baby deserves better than a monster for a father.” Her silence chilled the space between us, and I could feel a wave of despair crash against the walls of my heart. I was prepared for her to walk away, but instead, she stood abruptly, retrieving her bag, anger radiating from her like heat. But just as quickly, she paused, her brow furrowed as she settled back down. “Why?” she demanded. “Is this because you were just using me?” “What can I offer our child?” I replied, desperation creeping into my voice. “I’m in prison. By the time I’m out, they’ll be grown. I’ll miss everything—the milestones, the laughter, the heartbreaks. Who would want a father like me? One capable of such revolting actions against their own mother?” The words hung in the air like a shroud, shrouded in guilt and regret. She remained silent, contemplating my words, and I hoped I had made her see reason. Then came her surprising response. “I know, but you’re their father. Whether you’re behind bars or not, that fact doesn’t change. You can still be part of our lives. I’ll make sure you’re included. Our child deserves to know their father, and no matter what you think, they will love you for being there.” Caught off guard, I stared at her in astonishment. “You would… bring the baby here for visits?” “Yes.” A shock of admiration surged through me. Ava was remarkable, a beacon of resilience. I couldn’t fathom how Rowan had managed to resist falling in love with her during their nine years together. “Thank you,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. She nodded, rising to leave. “I need to go, but I’ll reach out after my next appointment. For now, here…” She handed me a small envelope containing a scan, and it didn’t take long for my breath to hitch. *I’m going to be a father.* Tears threatened my stoic façade—the first time I found it hard to hold back emotions. “I care about you,” I implored before she could turn away. She halted, her head swiveling back to face me. “W-What?” “I couldn’t bear myself if you stepped away without knowing,” I breathed, vulnerability seeping into my voice. “I love you, Ava. I don’t know when or how it happened, but it did. I love you with every ounce of my being.” Her breath hitched, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You have to know that it’s too late now,” she whispered, heartbreak lacing her words. “I know. I messed everything up, but it doesn’t change the feelings I hold for you.” “I saw a future with you. It was vibrant and full of promise. My feelings for you were blossoming, but you destroyed everything.” I stood, my heart shattering at the realization of her feelings—how she had begun to weave plans around my presence. If only I could go back and rewrite the chords of our fate. I stood there, helplessly watching as she wrestled with her heart. The knowledge that I had lost everything would forever plague me. “Will you ever forgive me?” I asked, the question escaping in a defeated tone. “Maybe… in time, but not now.” Before I could reconsider, I closed the gap between us, pulling her into an embrace, seizing the moment to kiss her with an urgency that left me breathless. It was a kiss imbued with finality, deeply knowing it would be our last. As I pulled away, an echo of loss enveloped me. Somewhere deep down, I recognized this was the end; I had lost my chance with her—forever.